Bondage & Freedom-3

In one of our earlier discussions, we noted that human relationships are invented to escape from conflicts within one and with others. The parent to children relationship (physical aspect) is the only exception to this. With the relationships, established a structure of society is formed and then culture. Since these things are invented to escape from conflicts rather than resolving conflicts, at certain stage these establishments became bondage. Now we are deeply bonded with relationships, we cannot breakaway the structure without leaving the culture and society behind. But for the purpose of breaking the bondage, we cannot leave the structure behind and move forward, which shall be meaningless. If we do so, we lose our life and there may not be any justification for such action, if we have already established such relationships within us. If we do so, it will bring in new conflicts within us and within those who are related with us. Hence the only way out is understand the social structure, live within the structure with complete understanding of the need for those structure for our life. Once the complete understanding is there, there will not be any more illusion and we can see what is there as it is. If we can reach this stage, the relationships are no more bondage for us because, we wipe out all constructed qualities from relationships as we have clear understanding of relationships and understanding of real purpose of this relationships. The understanding brings in the required inner freedom. Once we enjoy the freedom within us, there are no more conflicts within us. When there is no conflict within us, we are in a peaceful state. When we are peaceful, the world is peaceful because our world is just the outward projection of ourselves.

Let us try to understand parent children relationships. This is one relationship which no one can escape. All of us were a child of somebody. Once we understand the nature of this relationship, there will not be any new conflicts within us due to this relationship and there will not be any contamination of this relationship with attachment, possessiveness, jealous, envy, anger and any other constructed qualities. Once we understand the structure of this relationship and the basic maintenance requirement of this relationship, we can enjoy the pure relationship without any contamination.

Procreation is the nature of existence and for procreation our body has natural mechanism to have male female attraction. This is an unavoidable attraction express itself as desire, and is required for sustaining existence of human form. Because of this desire, procreation takes place and parent children relationship is already established. Here we need to understand one thing. There may be very few for who, by their very nature, the attraction required for procreation may not arise within them. For them, if the job of procreation is imposed on them by society, their life is finished there!

Even though it is a natural process, it is because of our desire the procreation happened and we are completely responsible for our action. In this case, it is the action due to our desire. The child is a product of our desire. Hence it is our responsibility to prepare the child as a socially compatible being. This is the very nature of parent-child relationship with respect to the parent. For us, whether we execute our responsibility or not, we start projecting the relationship out of our (virtual) need of psychological security. Having the child with us and its very nature of innocence, we start enjoy the togetherness. If it stops there, it is fine. But we would like to have the quality of innocence with the child forever and the attachment with the child is already there. We are in a state, even before the birth of child, we do all sort of mental projections about the child and its innocence and build the attachment even before the birth of child. And in many cases even before the child is created we do our mental projection and form an attachment with a non existing entity.

As explained in previous discussions, the attachment will slowly become possessiveness. Once possessiveness about the child is created within us, the natural extension is fear and all our inner freedom is gone at once! If the question arises then, what to do with the child after he/she is born? Just leave them aside and go away? Definitely not! The child is a product of our desire. We have the complete responsibility for bringing up the child as a socially compatible being. While doing this process, we may enjoy the innocence of the child as long as it is with the child without any expectation having that innocence forever, because it is practically not possible. Watch and enjoy each step on the growth of child and get relieved from our responsibilities over the child.

Just think over as an outsider, what sort of happiness and peacefulness we will have, if we just execute our responsibility without entangled in the bondage of attachment and possessiveness with the child. It is not just theory. We can practically implement it in our lives, if we allow our intelligence to work, if we allow our intelligence to see the truth, if we allow our intelligence to understand the relationships.